"This contract is entered into by and between Allegra Malone and Damon Dawson. The term of this agreement shall begin immediately and continue through its termination date of never. The terms are as follows: 1. Find the bright side when your best friend (the woman you've secretly been in love with for 10+ years) finds an engagement ring in her live-in boyfriend's gym bag. 2. When she discovers the ring isn't for her, and you volunteer to mop up...